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Message

Bullying


User: kubaff - 18 January 2011 21:22

======= Date Modified 18 Jan 2011 21:28:23 =======
I am a foreign student in the UK. I am not sure if what I am experiencing is bullying at all because its a strange concept to men my age where I come from. There Is a "colleague" (thank God not in my group) who picks on me constantly. I dont mind occasional snide remark and to be honest at times find the veiled criticisms of others hilarious and I can take a joke. However one lady picks on me constantly, whenever I walk into a room she would have a retort ready for her friends. Its usually worse after 5.00 pm when most people have left.
Ordinarily I would have stood my ground and answered back but in this case I am a guest in this country (overseas student) and am funded by other people tax payer's money so I d rather just suffer in silence and wait to finish my studies. I have lied low for so long but its getting to me now and I cant stand her anymore. I hope i wont lose my cool soon and say something I ll regret

Does anyone else feel like this or its just me who is paranoid?

Thanks

User: Hugh - 18 January 2011 21:31

======= Date Modified 18 Jan 2011 21:32:08 =======
Gosh that is horrid behaviour! You should stand up for yourself. It doesn't mean if you are funded you should stay quiet. You are contributing to the UK academic circles and to your university, and thus you have a right to be here just like the rest of us.

Take her aside and give her a piece of your mind. If you feel like you can't do, talk to your supervisor or someone else you can confide in. They sure should help you out.

User: DanB - 18 January 2011 21:35

It doesn't matter whether you've lived in this country since birth or for five minutes ; bullying is bullying. Don't let your being a foreign student here but an excuse - this is how bullies get away with it, thinking they're above things.

Maybe she hasn't realised how it has made you feel? Although bullies often know exactly what they're doing.

Turn around next time she does it, tell her it's inappropriate and unacceptable, and next time you'll take further action. Also might be worth telling her boss what you intend to do, just in case she goes running to them claiming some sort of harrassment - a classic bully's tactic.

But don't just suffer in silence.

User: delta - 18 January 2011 22:01

Kubaff,

The other posters are right. You've earned your place and have as much right to be here as anyone else. It might be worthwhile jotting down some notes about what you're experiencing so you can provide examples, if asked. Assert yourself but remain calm and polite, even though it may be difficult. Do not stoop to the level of the bully / bullies. I hope you've made some friends and are not feeling totally isolated. If you are having difficulty making some friends, find out if your college or university has a system in place to put international students into contact with other students or join a club or society, within or outside the University.

Sincerely hoping things pick up for you.

Let us know how you get on.

User: DrJeckyll - 19 January 2011 13:29

Hi Kubaff!

I think she likes you!

:-x

User: IbnAl - 21 November 2017 09:41

Quote From DrJeckyll:
Hi Kubaff!

I think she likes you!

:-x

She might :-)
Kindergarten way.





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