PhD Discussion Forum

Hey everyone,

I am a first year PhD student (approaching the end of the first year) and I have been going through all the matters of having proposal accepted by the commission, going back and forth with addressing comments and re-submitting it. Then, of course doing literature review, familiarising myself with the topic better - while at the same time grading students exams and papers and helping my supervisor with teaching duties.

I can say that my PhD is going well so far. I get annoyed with my supervisor and the fact that he changes whatever I write into his own style of wording (we're talking only about the proposal) but I have decided to not make a big deal out of it while it is only the proposal he is dealing with. Once I start writing my thesis, or articles - if he continues changing everything then I will have an open and sincere talk with him and tell him how that makes me feel. The problem is that he doesn't change the substance, just the wording of my paragraphs.

Anyway, throughout all this I cannot help but overthink it all. I overthink and obsess about the tiniest issues. If my supervisor writes me an email and I feel like he was angry I start overthinking about any possible reasons that I might have caused him to be mad. I also think more than I should about how my supervisor feels about me, and what the other supervisors think about me. Do they think I am good enough? Maybe they laugh about me behind my back? Maybe they've never seen a worse PhD student? All of this. And I know that most of it doesn't even make sense because I am a hardworker and I am very committed.

It's just that overthinking is killing me slowly - I can tell. And I was just wondering have you guys ever been there, and if yes - how have you dealt with it? Did you find any solutions? Thanks a lot :)

Hi skyisnotthelimit! I think it's great that you're aware of these negative spiraling thoughts - as some people may be having them but be unaware of it/not know why they feel so bad. So now you're aware of them, yes, it sounds like a good idea to maybe try a few strategies from CBT or similar as Pjlu has suggested. I think once you start simply ignoring them (because they're counterproductive anyway right - whether they have any basis or not - which they don't in your case by the sounds of it) it'll just become normal to ignore them and you'll be free from it.

I've experienced something similar from time to time. A gripe I have is that my supervisor will often email me without a greeting, even if it has been weeks since we've been in touch. I always make a point of replying "Hi x" (with her name of course - not x) - just to show that I think this is the proper way to communicate. I know this doesn't bother everyone - some of my friends do it too - I suppose it's just a communication style. But whoever does it I find it annoying/slightly rude! I mean, just say Hi for crying out loud! Ridiculous as it sounds, that can put me in a bad mood! A strategy I have found to cope is to just make a joke of it to myself - say "miserable old fart!" and then move on.

I know this is different from your issue - but just sharing to show that other people have these obsessions too!

Re writing. That is one of the things I really appreciate about my supervisor. She has never changed anything I've written (although she'll comment if something isn't clear or could be better phrased).

Hey Pjlu and Tudor Queen. Thank you so much for your valuable insight and for actually telling me about CBTh. I will definitely check it out and see if it helps. The thing is - I still can control it but I can tell that it is getting worse and that's why I want to prevent overthinking from taking over my life.

Kahn - I know what you mean. I am not that bad with writing emails myself, I am worse when it comes to interpreting the tone with which emails sent to me were written. It's so tiring - I know.