The Importance of Your Supervisory Relationship

#1 Find out how you each work best

Everyone has a different working style. This is true for both you and your supervisor. Take some time to work out the best methods of communication and what you both need to bring out the best in each other. For example, I know that I work best with clear expectations, written instructions and internal deadlines so we built timelines into our meetings and set goals for me to complete before we meet again. Working out what you both need from the relationship sets you up for success and gives you a cornerstone to come back to if things aren’t working out.

#2 Get to know your supervisor as a person and build a relationship

When I was a child, I remember thinking that teachers lived at school and being baffled seeing one in the supermarket. Some students still fall into this trap with their supervisors. Your supervisor is a person too! It is important to take time to get to know each other and to build a relationship about more than just your research. You are going to be working together for at least four years so invest in learning about each other’s hobbies, passions and family, as it helps make a connection you might have to rely on when times are tough.

Remember that your supervisor is a person with their own deadlines, family commitments and history. It is important to give each other grace. We’re all human and no one is perfect! Something will go wrong during your four years, such as a missed deadline, and being able to approach each other with kindness and forgiveness is an important mark in your relationship.

#3 Your relationship should change during the years

During your PhD your supervisor is training you to become an independent researcher. This means that your relationship with them will change as you become more independent and capable. When I look back to my first year, I had more regular meetings with my supervisory team and consulted them on every decision. My supervisor held my hand to guide me through the beginnings of the project. Over time, she has held my hand less closely and trusted me to make small decisions on my own, still staying nearby in case I need help with a big one. Think of this like a toddler learning to ride a bike. Your supervisor is the parent holding the back of the bike until you are confident and capable enough to ride on your own. Be comfortable with the relationship changing; it is a sign that you are learning to ride the academic bike!

#4 Listen to your supervisor! And listen to yourself

Your supervisor has a wealth of experience in both your specific research topic but also in academia and the ways of research. Listen to their advice and consult them on important forks in the road. However, as you go further in your PhD it is equally important that you learn to listen to your gut. You are now becoming an expert in your field yourself so don’t dismiss your thoughts as unimportant or wrong. Talk to your supervisor if you disagree and try to work out the reasoning for both of your opinions. It may be that one of you has some context that the other is missing. This is a working relationship for both parties so open communication and discussion are key to bringing out your best work.

A lot of my advice may sound like something from a marriage counselling book but really the same rules apply! Your supervisory relationship is one of the most important relationships you will have during these four years and whilst it might not rhyme, the saying is still true - “happy supervisor, happy life”!

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