7 Months to Realise I Have Imposter Syndrome

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Whilst slowly infiltrating public knowledge, many people do not know what Imposter Syndrome is – often including those affected by it! Margaret explains that Imposter Syndrome feelings are an “inability to accept our own success. Even though we know we’ve done something, there is a constant feeling of not being good enough and frequently wishing we were as skilled as other people seem to think we are”. This includes “comparing ourselves to other people [and] comparing ourselves to an idealised version of how good we think we should be”.

It was only when hearing this description, and cricking my neck with how strongly I was nodding along, that I realised that Imposter Syndrome might really affect me. Turns out, I’m not alone: these feelings are almost universal and “absolutely normal” particularly within academia. Imposter Syndrome “has higher prevalence in professions where expertise or intelligence is valued”, explains Margaret. For PhD students this is often the first time doing something where “the milestones or the goalposts are poorly defined”. The need to produce novel content pushes you outside your comfort zone which predisposes us to experiencing Imposter Syndrome. Anyone who has been following my posts will have noticed that most of the PhD seems to be outside my comfort zone(!) and explains why Imposter Syndrome is so common within the PhD community.

Top Tips for combatting Imposter Syndrome

Knowing that you’re affected in only half the battle. What can you do about it? Margaret explains that there isn’t one tip that will help everyone as the reasons that people experience Imposter Syndrome vary. However, there are 3 predisposing factors to Imposter Syndrome feelings, each with their own tool to help us fight back:

#1 Being different

Feeling different or like an outsider often leads people to feel like an imposter. Margaret explains feeling this herself as the first person in her family to go onto higher education and feeling out of place within academia. Her top tip for fighting this battle is “finding ways of redefining your story” – “instead of telling the story of why you don’t belong because you are different, tell the story of how you are the hero because you persisted in the face of adversity”.

#2 Unconscious bias

Unconscious bias may make people feel like they are an imposter. Working with your university to explain what is happening can lead to change at an organisational level. Universities are already doing a lot to try and overcome these sources of bias but it takes time. Developing personal resilience to the situation can help manage those feelings: “personal resilience says I know it’s not me. This is a genuine thing that is happening to me, but I know it’s not me”.

#3 Faulty thinking about your achievements

Attributing your successes to “I’ve been lucky” or “people have been kind to me” is an example of faulty thinking and an inability to own our successes. This “dissociates us from having a hand in our own success”. When we recognise that we are in control of our destiny, people are often challenged by their inner critic.

Questioning your Inner Critic

Whilst I often take my Inner Critic as gospel, Margaret tells us to challenge if our Inner Critic is right, accurate or true. This is different to just ignoring it: sometimes our Inner Critic is guiding us away from an unsafe situation (queue caveman knowing not to put his hand in the fire) but other times it’s acting out of fear of vulnerability or looking foolish. This could be not putting your hand up to ask a question, not signing up to give a presentation to your department or not trying a new lab technique. Your Inner Critic is not always right! Challenging it, as you would any other source of information, can be very powerful.

“That doesn’t mean to say that it will feel better overnight as we can still have those doubts… I can know that something is true and feel something completely different”. What you know to be true, such as knowing you have worked hard and put in the effort, and what you feel to be true, that you are not good enough and should have done more, are often not in alignment. Fighting back against Imposter Syndrome is to “choose to act in alignment with what you know to be true rather than how you feel”. This is not the same as the fake-it-until-you-make-it mantra as you’re not faking it: “it is based on the objective evidence that I have done enough. [It is] acknowledging there is a dissonance between the evidence that I know in my head and how I feel, and choosing to act in alignment with what I know”.

Talk to your supervisors and colleagues about these feelings

“Many supervisors will be very familiar with the feelings themselves” and having honest conversations with your supervisor will “burst the bubble that the supervisor is certain of everything… they are human beings”. The relationship between student and supervisor is critical to the success of your PhD so being honest with how you are feeling can help your supervisor support you.

Being open with your colleagues will show you that you are not alone. Imposter Syndrome feelings are “almost universal”, particularly within academia. Being brave and courageous in speaking out will create a supportive environment within your university that will benefit everyone. Remember, having Imposter Syndrome feelings “doesn’t mean you’re not great at what you do, it just means that you feel lousy while you’re doing it!”

I am so pleased to have had this talk early on in my PhD journey, mainly because I don’t want to miss out on experiences based on my Imposter Syndrome. It is important for PhD students to be able to champion themselves and their work, both when presenting at conferences, in the final viva, and when applying for post-doc positions. Believe in yourself! You made it this far and, as despite what your Inner Critic tells you, that achievement is no coincidence!